When I have too much pent up emotions inside.
My way of release is by watching funny shows! ha ha!
But yesterday night was an exception though.
Mum caught me crying while watching Zettai Kareshi.
Had a sheepish smile as she tried repairing the air con.
Anyway today's shows I watched was quite random.
Starting from Super Junior on Intimate Note.
It was utter jaw dropping hilarious though it is not subbed.
(meaning i couldn't understand a single word they said)
But it still provided laughters as they dressed in drag.
Eunhyuk, Sungmin, Heechul and Kang In looked..LOL.
Eunhyuk and Heechul could easily pass off as girls! D:
(no wonder yunho's girlfriend mistook him for one..)
Just check the picture below!

Today to me there was too many what the fuck moments.
Not a very nice start to a day and everything went awry.
It got so suffocating that at a point I left for fresh air.
(i swear one day if i ever smoke, don't bloody blame me)
Anyway, the best was definitely saved for the last.
Because NLS lecture was just ridiculously hilarious.
The lecturer freely answered some personal questions.
I wouldn't be surprised if she even gave her number. ha ha!
I'll have to say the lecture was pretty interesting too.
Even though I will never look at coconuts the same way anymore.
And then went home and even more what the fuck moments.
Mum and I were watching this Taiwanese programme.
And it was talking about breast surgery of all things. ha ha!
One women went from a A cup to a shocking E! omg.
I asked Mum I thought there was such a thing as push up bra.
And then she proceeded to tell me there were other ways too!
One was massage and she then proceeded to try and show me!
HA HA! I was trying to keep a straight face...
So now I think my ribs kind of hurt keeping in the laughter...

drops of tears
they felt surreal
with her emotions numbed
she doesn't care anymore
freely they fell
till there was none left
where the hurt ends
And her heart in stop still

copyright lephisto.
(copy this and i'll have you shot not once...
but until i'm utterly satisfied plus you'd be damned)
Trying can have a lot of meanings to it.
It could mean attempting or making an effort.
Then again it could mean hard to endure.
This morning there was an unfortunate meeting.
I know somehow it was bound to happen somehow.
But I never expect to meet such cold affronting eyes.
Then I suddenly felt really weary and dispirited.
However I vowed not to shed anymore worthless tears.
So I just put those past memories at the back of my mind.
And as if having amnesia, I blocked all of those now.
But today's class gathering at Seoul Garden at Tampines Mall.
I'm glad and happy to have such fun with my classmates.
Even though we may not communicate so much in school,
Yet at least we have a gathering where we had fun together.
Alright I think I should wisely end here.
Else this might just end up being another dejected post.

smiling even though it is fake and hurts
but it still brightens up my day
even if it only lasts for just a while The whole day today seemed really tiring.
Went home feeling really sick and fatigued.
Ended up sleeping straight till dinner was ready.
I can't help but feel a little lost today.
Even though I promised I won't be moody anymore.
But once again ended up feeling really blue.
I kind of wished of going back to Toowoomba once again.
It feels like being in a city is really suffocating to me.
Every single thing is complicated and hard to comprehend.
Plus today in school a derogatory comment made me blue.
Maybe I heard it wrong or it was directed at someone else.
But just thinking about it made me feel even low.
What a tiring day. And I'm feeling more sick every moment.
And I am missing Kaela and the life back at down under.
And I only just realised I'm such a country bumpkin afterall. First day back at school and it was raining this morning.
Just adding to the gloom of going back to school.
And while waiting for the bus in the thunderstorm,
I was splashed by water due to a passing car.
Which even dampens my mood further on.
Plus the bus is nostalgically packed like tunas again.
Putting this behind, everyone seemed shocked at my hair.
But apparently, I thankfully(?) look like a good delinquent?
Thanks to my new nerdy looking spectacles. ha ha!

today i agreed with what one lecturer said because it seemed like what's happened to us.
I have finally kicked my old phone's bucket at last.
But sadly it continues to haunt me as it couldn't be traded in.
Stupid useless phone. I even wanted to give them for free!
So got myself a classic phone with utter basic features.
(okay save for the whatsitcalled walkman feature?)
Anyway I'm just satisfied I have a mobile phone now.
(i'm a pretty easy to please and low maintenance eh?) ha ha!
So now it is easier communicating without my phone dying.
But it probably doesn't make it any easier to trace me.
Since I'm always prone to not having my phone with me.
And always end up with missed calls and unreplied sms-es.
(i know i'm like some old traditional granny or something..)
Alright, its back to school for me tomorrow.
And I don't feel any ounce of excitement in me. Oh screw it! Mind the title of this post. Not that I am dirty.
But apparently my mum only chose to tell me today.
That my new highlights make me look dirty.
Great and school is starting in exactly 1 more day.
Add to my feeling under the weather still. =/
Damn it, where's my feel good factor? Its going to be hard to contact me now.
Considering how my handphone keeps dying on me.
I'm trying to tell myself its just a phone,just a phone.
Else I'd have it chucked at the wall and screaming vulgarities.
Can you imagine? After having it fully charged,
It dies on me within an hour. Sigh I so NEED a new phone.
And pissed I am now, I don't give a damn about brands.
Neither do I fuck care about the phone's shit appearance.
So long as it doesn't die on me like this one does! =_=;
Right..Did I mentioned I'm pissed again? This morning met Mei Yi for our hair cutting session.
Told her to go before me as I haven't decided.
As usual Mei Yi had a unique hairstyle picture in hand.
(and typically of an anime character except its male)
So while she was having her hair cut and coloured,
I was busy flitting through pages of hairstyle books.
And I ended up with probably the same hairstyle as before.
Anyway,cut the bullshit, now I've got highlighted hair!
(which is red and copper highlights by the way)
While Mei Yi's was a blond and mahogany colour.
Its hilarious during the process and after it was done.
Cause Mei Yi's hair was wrapped and she look funny.
I called her the Milkmaid while I looked like a witch.
(due to the aluminium foils sticking out of my hair)
And after the colouring, we both look like rebels. ha ha!
Hairdresser auntie laughed at both of us.
Cause it was like a huge change from black hair.
She believes we were out to shock our parents.
And offered us her house in case we were kicked out. ha ha!
In the end no shocking reaction from my parents though. =/
I just realised that I might be the only one with bright hair.
I mean as in during the lecture theatres when school reopens.
Uh oh, this means it would be hard if I want to slack away.
Cause: "The one with the bright highlighted hair there!..."
(and so you get the idea now?) Ho ho. good luck to me. i am tired of them having a hold on me
why won't they just set me free
away from their clutches
for me to fly towards the sky
i need this flight
to be able to taste freedom
but they do not seem to understand
i am wild and untamed
as to them subdued and caged
they do not seem to realise
that my destiny is to the sky
for they have lost their will to fly

why am i made to feel sorry for wanting time alone again? I was supposed to blog the moment I reach home yesterday.
But I gave in to the temptation to watch <Antique Bakery>.
(come on, who could resist Joo Ji Hoon and Kim Jae Wook?)
Anyway, the trip back into Malacca was good one way or another.
But there was a few things which still kind of bugged me now.
I mean who wouldn't really?

Having a 4 year old cousin mistake you as her mother?
It sure bugged me to think "Do I really look that old?". -big sigh-
But still both Cyndi and Ethan are such sweethearts really.
(damn i just realised i hadn't take any picture of them!)
Plus a grandma who is having startling symptoms of dementia.
But her mind is still working well just occasionally absentminded.
Accusing people of stealing her household items and what nots.
(i had this urge to tell her no one would ever steal those stuff..)
And relatives who are having a hard time dealing with her.
Nevertheless, this time round my parents and I stayed in a resort.
Instead of the usual staying over at "Granny's bed and breakfast".
Sadly, I was confined into a sleeping bag on the floor of the room.

Besides, there wasn't a choice!
I mean which sane 19 year old wants to squeeze with her parents?
In any case, it meant that I didn't have to snatch over the blanket.
On the other hand, I tossed,turned and rolled around so much so.
Only to find myself far from the place I slept the night before..
Alright, I shall end my post of odd oddities here and now. This morning went for another round of gym-ing session.
Having last went only being yesterday with Chin Ying.
So as a result my whole body is currently aching.
(my mum thinks my sighing over these aches is like an elderly)
Anyway, supposed to be tucked in bed sleeping away now.
Since I'm supposed to be waking up at 4:30am tomorrow.
But looking at the time now I can screw my sleeping cycle.
This evening was laughing my ass off at Daddy's blonde jokes.
And watching Mummy roll her eyes as Daddy tells more. HA HA!
Gee my parents really are one entertaining pair. =)
Have been smirking to myself at odd times today. (creepy eh?)
Due to having discovered an oddity at something. (my secret)
Right, what am I supposed to be talking about again?
Damn I had a memory loss. Kudos to my wandering mind. =_=;
















On days like these I just feel like writing.

my hair
which you once lovingly caressed
my eyes
which once only looked at you
my nose
that breathed in your intoxicating scent
my lips
which you would claim with yours
my heart, mind and soul.
once solely belonged to you
now lay broken without your presence


copyright lephisto.
else I'll have you shot. Till now I still can't get back to a proper sleep routine.
I am so going to die when school reopens on the 20th.
Anyway I still have a lot of things flooding my mind.
Even though I recently just put one to closure.
It took me at least a year just to have the courage.
Now that it is done with I hope to get on with life.
And try to stop using it as an excuse to my present.
Plus to always remember the good memories of the past.
Alright enough of talking about these before I get moody.
(in which i had promised people to be happier now on)
They even had to go to the extent of bribing me with sweets.
HAHA just kidding about that~
Anyway decided on cutting my hair again! mwa ha ha!
Well its so thick now it is starting to look like a lion's mane!

Think I won't be buying Super Junior's album afterall.
After multiple times of listening to DBSK's Secret Code.
And then learning about the secrets behind the album.
Which those Cassiopeians are so quick to notice.
But I didn't like the freaky part about the subliminal message.
(because i heard scary stories about those messages ha ha)
However it obvious that I love all the songs in this album.
Well, but playing for at least 4 days straight now, who wouldn't?
Before was giggling at the boys' hilarious drawings during a event.
They were supposed to draw giraffe,zebra,kangaroo,lion,chicken,
crocodile,Spiderman,Marilyn Monroe,Mona Lisa,Beyonce and Obama.

Changmin cracked me up with his version of Marilyn Monroe.
(cause it looked like a muscular man with pama hair!ha ha!)

Junsu's was just freaking funny with all of the women looking scary.
And with the thing about english words all over going "Who's that?".
(plus since when did kangaroos have sharp pointy teeth with blood?!)

Yoochun's drawings were by far the best I've seen amongst the boys.
Loved his drawing of the crocodile and Spiderman.
(but his kangaroo looked like tigger and the giraffe looked like Changmin!)

Yunho's drawings looks like an elementary school kid's! ha ha!
(his baby crocodile is seriously...indescribable. ha ha!)

Jaejoong's version of Marilyn Monroe looked like Sadako! ha ha!
Witty comes in his drawing of a spider plus the word man. XD
(but his drawing of the chicken looks like it is naked! ha ha!)
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